I love it when I realize that I have indeed developed some very healthy habits. And this is one of those times. The habit? Here it is:
when someone responds to me in a less than stellar way (let’s get real here- in a way that used to slay me for days, used to seriously trod on my sense of self-worth, used to take a lot of effort to regain my mojo), I now find myself automatically saying to myself “It’s Not Personal! It has nothing whatsoever to do with YOU”.
And ya know what’s the best thing about this? Is it is EASY to believe! Think about it. Think about the last time this happened with you. Somebody came back at you with something less than compassion and it hurt. Wait a minute, think for a minute. Do you have a clue what is going on in this person’s life? Do you really know how their past experiences have affected them? You truly have no clue. And there is a very large chance that their response to you had more to do with what is going on in their life and less to do with handing out a verdict on your value.
Hurt People Hurt People. It’s a Truth. It leads to the circle of pain that crosses generations, unfortunately. I mean seriously, how do people get like that? Nasty, mean, hurtful. Well, I don’t think people just wake up one day and decide that is how they are going to behave.
When people are hurt some people do go out of their way to be mean or seek revenge, but I submit that most of us are not like that and that most of us would be surprised if something less than compassionate would come out of our mouths.
But this blog is about US and how we respond to people, to the world, not so much about other people’s behavior (that is really none of my business). My desire is for you to bring attention to how YOU REACT to anything said or done that doesn’t feel good. I just want to make sure that your self-worth is intact and not on unsteady ground. I don’t want the “slightly crooked remark” to slay you for a minute much less ruin your day.
~Life is much sweeter when you don’t get your self-worth tossled about with the wind!~
I’ve been thinking about karma for a long time. Years. Reading and reading and trying to glean some pattern out of my experience. Searching for someone who seems to have THE answer, to no avail. Many religions have their opinions about it, but they are just opinions. Like most things, I think karma is something that you have to decide about for yourself. I still have made no such decision. I’m still waiting to be convinced.
This morning I was listening to a podcast about karma, and like many this person was basically saying that if a person has a terrible situation brought on them and they react without retaliation but take the higher road and maybe even display some grace along the way, that they will be rewarded while the perpetrator gets his or hers. Is that the way it works? I mean I have always believed in the Golden Rule- ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’, just cuz. But does the Universe actually step in and make sure justice is served on your behalf? I don’t know. My proverbial “jury” is still out. I just take the high road because that’s what I do, not because I absolutely believe I will get rewarded for doing so.
Then there is the idea of familial or ancestral karma- whoa! You mean to say I get crap loaded onto me because of the doings of some far off relative I did not even know?! How unfair would that be? I should take some sort of responsibility because I share the same bloodline with some terrible person (s)??? Where the hell is the right or just in that?? I get that we all have lessons to learn while we are here, but why should we have to take on something that we didn’t start? It’s all a mystery to me but I do have to say that I see patterns of behavior in my family that seem to repeat themselves generation by generation. It’s odd to say the least.
At this stage in my life it has become obvious to me what the main life lessons I am meant to learn. I’d have to be completely oblivious not to recognize what is going on, and I am not that. They are crystal clear and I have learned well. Does that mean the Universe is now going to rain down Blessings upon me for the rest of my life? Wouldn’t that be nice!
Tell me your thoughts- how has Karma played out in your life? How do you think it works?
Have you ever shared with someone or someones what is going on with you that is really, really difficult? What happened after that? You probably felt worse on some level. Like a victim perhaps, or that you just gave away your power. That’s how it is on our emotional journey sometimes. It doesn’t matter whether it is a matter of the heart or a physical problem that has knocked you down.
Sometimes it’s an extremely personal thing that is best dealt with in silence, solo. Sometimes when we share our pain out loud it dilutes our personal strength. It just does, have you ever noticed? Maybe not. I didn’t. But I know better now. I have consciously felt the diminishment of my own personal power by sharing with even the most compassionate people.
I’m still figuring out the why but I know it to be true. I think the why maybe so that we actually REALIZE our own personal strength and fortitude, our own very personal power. To realize this is a huge thing. It gives us more strength, confidence, and stamina in the face of some pretty tough things. Some times I get tired of being tough, being stronger than anyone I know. But it’s nice to absolutely KNOW my own strength, and sometimes in order to KNOW your own strength you have to go it alone.
For sure going through these immensely challenging times by oneself is eye opening at the very least.. In a lot of ways. And there are a lot of lessons along the way besides learning to deal with and heal whatever is going on. Growth and expansion of ourselves, who we are, is what happens when we pay attention to things like this. It’s not usually pleasant as we are learning these lessons but the good news is if you keep it up one day you wake up and realize how proud of you you are and how much you really appreciate that person staring back at you in the mirror! And that, my friends, is a REALLY good feeling!
~Here’s to You! You Are Badass!~