Category Archives: Mental & Emotional

See The Beauty!

I’ve developed a very healthy, happy habit that truly makes my every day better:
First thing when I wake up, I immediately start thinking of things that feel good, and I keep it going throughout the day. It truly makes the difference between an okay day and a truly inspired day. It’s developing a happy attitude, building happy neural networks that help me to be a more joyous person, having a more positive attitude no matter what is going on in my life today.

Things might truly suck right now. Maybe you don’t have a job, maybe bad things have happened recently. We all know how easy it is to remember those events, that heartbreak and start our day with revisitng that event first thing (oh yeah, I am broken-hearted/ have been mistreated, don’t have any income, or I’m sick) and the downward spiral begins. We cannot get out of a funk of any kind if we begin our day this way.

It may not be easy at first, especially given less than fortunate circumstances. But, again, it’s training those happy muscles. At first, for me, it was like forcing myself to go to the gym- unnatural as Hell. But if you stick with it you will find that there is a crack in that depression, that actually, you can feel good despite whatever is going on- if even for a couple minutes at a time.

Keep it going, keep it going, keep it going- and you will find the despair taking up less of your day and hope starts peeking through. Then maybe some real magic happens. You start attracting really nice things with no effort at all. Animals start coming around. Nice people start popping up. Nice things in general start happening on a more regular basis. The shift is occurring, you are getting better at this- creating a bit of happiness for yourself no matter what.

So, in hopes of encouraging you to do this, I offer this challenge: just for one day, carry a little notebook with you and write down every little nice thing that you consciously notice throughout the day. And I would LOVE to see your list! This could become contagious! And wouldn’t it be nice to have lots more happy people on the planet right now??

So, here is my list for today (and the day is only half over):

-super soft sheets!(OMG!!)
-amazing cool sleeping weather with the windows open (mmm!)
-my sweet dog snuggling with me in bed (seriously nothing better!)
-songbirds waking me up (I am absolutely in love with them!)
-the lightest spring air (fill the lungs!)
-the just barely warm Spring sun (delicious!)
– good food! (it’s a beautiful thing!)
-butterflies at breakfast (love me some butterflies:))
-nature walk (trees, colors, textures- I love textures-nature is amazing!)
-sea shells (can you say Sacred Geometry?)
-silence (it can really fill you up!)
-my dog rolling around in the grass (such Bliss!)
-the bluest sky ever!(how does that happen???)

Are you willing to take the challenge? I’d love to hear from you!

~Happiness Is Contagious!~

update: Evening is coming and I have more things to add to my list:
-the light off the lattice work is beautiful (and calming)
-the gentle breeze through the palm trees making them sway (ever so lovingly)
-my homemade vegetable soup is taking shape (yum- good for the body and the soul!)
-and looking forward to the full moon coming in my window (and reminding me that I am a child of the Universe and therefore important and loved.)
~Peace Out~

Starting Over From Here

Even if you were to lose everything today it would not be as devastating as you might think or feel. If you have succeeded at something, if you have amassed great wealth or status of some sort, you can do it again- much faster with much less trial and error, and therefore much less angst.

You now have knowledge and experience that you didn’t have before. You have tools that you didn’t have before. You are wiser than you were before. You are not starting from square one like you did. You are starting from where you are with what you know intact.

Abraham-Hicks says when we find that we have lost everything, even at an advanced age, we do not need to fear because we don’t have to start all over. We can start from where we are at right now. And right now I assure you you have massive tools that you didn’t have before. You have strength and knowledge and wisdom that you didn’t have before.

So start from where you are at today, use the tools that you have gained over time. Have courage in your knowledge and perseverance. You can do this! You know how because you have already done it! And it will be much easier this time because of the know-how, experience, knowledge that you have gained. And people can gain from this knowledge.

Maybe it will look a bit different, most likely what you know now is even more valuable, more marketable, more genius!

Give yourself time to mourn your losses but know that you are much more capable of doing again what you once accomplished, only in a better, more polished, and less strenuous way.

~You Got This!~

Healing From The Past

Most of us have experienced various emotional traumas in our past. The unfortunate thing is that often we carry these traumas into our present, even decades later. Carrying our “Emotional Baggage” with us is very detrimental to us, to our lives, and our relationships- even our physical bodies. Most of all it strips us of our potential to experience freedom and true joy.

Traditionally, psychotherapy has been used in an attempt to release us from our own ‘prison’. I did it- for way too long. This is what I have learned:
It doesn’t do any good to continually revisit those memories. It only serves to keep us stuck THERE. Why would we do that to ourselves? We are just digging those memories deeper and deeper into our psyche TODAY, keeping the wounds alive in our present making our present just as hurtful as our past. Continually regurgitating these traumas cause us to feel as if those traumas are happening to us today. Why would we do that to ourselves???

The only way I find revisiting the past to be useful is in the context of what it has taught me about myself- that I am stronger than I ever dreamed, that my sensitivity is my personal superpower, that I have more compassion towards others than ever before, and that I am formidable! I have finally found self-love and appreciation like nobody’s business! Outside of that, revisiting the past is useless in my opinion. I like today way too much!

How do you like today even if things are not exactly peachy? As Eckart Tolle says, stay in the present moment, not digging into the past pain or future which usually conjures up fear and anxiety. Getting truly into the present moment is a learned behavior.

Simple practices like enjoying the breath in and out that happens on its own, or absolutely loving the birds singing outside my window when I wake up in the morning, or enjoying the dexterity of my hands while I am washing dishes. Mindfulness- yeh, it’s a real thing. There is JOY to be had at any given moment if you just look for it with fierce determination!

Personally, I finally decided to eliminate my personal history. It served its purpose and taught me well. I don’t need it anymore. I am a completely different person now. The strength and wisdom I have gained is astounding. I have learned to love myself so well that I am only interested in the present joyous moment and how I can squeeze every drop of joy from it!

As always< I encourage comments, questions and ideas for more articles!

~My healing journey has ended. My free and joyful life has begun~

Moving Up The Emotional Scale One Step At A Time

There is an emotional scale developed by Abraham-Hicks that really helps when you want to get out of a funk and feel better quickly. And it is easier than you think. The most important thing to remember while attempting this is that it is not as hard as one would think. Within a few minutes you will be surprised how much progress you make and how much better you feel. AND IT’S ALL ABOUT FEELING BETTER RIGHT NOW.

emotional scale chart

So, here it is. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed, we will walk through it together and you will likely be amazed at how quickly it improves your mood. It seems that it would be rather difficult to jump from one emotion to another quickly and simply, but it truly is not. As Abraham-Hicks says it really is not a big jump and you can do it quickly with very little effort. Let’s do this together:

So each emotion carries with it a vibration, an emotional frequency. Every time you move up one emotion (starting from wherever you are at at the moment), you raise your vibration (and you feel better). For the purpose of this exercise we will start at the bottom. For your own exercise pick an emotion that suits you at the moment and begin there.

Starting at the bottom (the lowest emotional frequency) we start with #22 fear/grief/depression/despair/powerlessness. Ok, so there you are. Look at #21- insecurity/guilt/unworthiness. Can you get there? If you can think a thought that feels more like insecurity/guilt/unworthiness, then you have made the jump. It might look like this: This has happened and I feel such despair. What am I responsible for here? The answer might be something from the vibration of guilt or unworthiness. Can I find that? Do I feel guilty or unworthy? What thought can I think that makes this make more sense? Do I feel depressed because I feel guilty for it happening or unworthy of feeling better?

Try it on for size and see if you can feel that sense of guilt or unworthiness that is keeping you in despair and depression. It’s there somewhere I assure you. Perhaps the thought goes, “oh yes, I do feel guilt”. Okay then, now you are there- in the feeling of guilt.

Allow that. Now, you are feeling guilt rather than despair (which doesn’t allow any emotional movement). Follow me? Feeling guilty feels better than despair or depression (where you have no control to get out of that). Ok, now you have taken back control. Doesn’t that feel better? Can’t you feel yourself taking more control- feeling a sense of power over this? I no longer feel helpless so much as I feel guilty.

Let’s try one more:
Going from guilt to jealousy. “Why do I have to feel this way? Other people who have done this don’t feel so bad. I wish I could not feel so responsible- they don’t.” There you are now- at Jealousy. Doesn’t jealousy feel better than despair?

If you think about it jealousy is a much more powerful position to be in than despair. Doesn’t it feel more powerful? Doesn’t it now in just a few minutes feel like you have taken some of your power back? Getting the picture? It’s not a monumental shift to go from a lower vibration, a lower emotion, to a more empowered one- one that you can work with and make some progress.

Did I get there for you? Can you just imagine working (rather effortlessly) up the emotional scale? Can you imagine what it is going to feel like when you get to enthusiasm or passion or even JOY (my fav). It’s amazing!! And it is all within your reach- in very little time and very little angst. Each moment during this exercise, I promise you will feel better and better and better. And power and joy will return.

As always, I invite you to comment, ask questions, and give ideas for future topics

~How do you spell r-e-l-i-e-f?~

How Sensitive Are You?

I was reading an article that gave this scenario which clearly demonstrates the various degrees of sensitivity people have. I like it because it is so easy to identify where you lie on the sensitivity scale. If you are like me and you are the forth person in this scenario, I suggest you take notice because those of us with that extreme sensitivity not only need to be aware that we are that sensitive, but what to watch for, be careful of, and what to do about it.

The scenario: Imagine four friends meeting for dinner. The first individual to arrive approaches the host stand, speaks with the maître d’, and is led to the table. After sitting, she notices that she’s missing a fork and that her water glass has already been filled. She’s quite thirsty, so she takes a sip.

Shortly after, the second friend enters the restaurant. He approaches the host stand and notices that maître d’ is scrolling through Instagram on her phone. Unsure of whether the maître d’ is bored or indignant, the second individual delicately gets the hosts attention through a gentle greeting. The host is gracious and welcoming, and the second individual is immediately relieved. The host leads the second individual to the table, where he sits down, greets his friend, and proceeds to review the menu.

The third friend enters the restaurant. As she approaches the host stand, she is overwhelmed with stimuli: She notes the restaurant’s garish decor, the servers’ swift movements, and a particularly loud gentleman in the back of the room who seems to be dominating the conversation. His energy is arrogant and abrasive, and his young children appear both embarrassed and afraid. Will they grow to adopt his behavior, or will they reject it and become soft and docile? Suddenly, the third friend snaps back in reality as maître d’ asks how she can help. Once she arrives at the table, she immediately shares her observations with her dinner mates.

Finally, the fourth friend walks into the restaurant. Upon entering, he’s completely overwhelmed by the movement, sounds, lights, and smells. Within an instant, he’s aware of interpersonal dynamics at each table, the complex relationships between the servers, the pungent odor of a particular dish that reminds him of childhood, and a few charred rafters on the ceiling. Had there been a fire? Suddenly, he senses an extreme heaviness (something bad happened here) and — avoiding the maître d’ — hurries towards the table of friends. He tries to shake off these experiences, but they continue to linger throughout dinner.

From the above example, friend one and two demonstrate a relatively standard range of sensitivity, while friend three and four exhibit more extreme extrasensory abilities. Consider your own experiences: How much stimuli do you absorb on a daily basis? Which types of stimuli resonate most deeply? How does it impact you emotionally? Physically? Spirituality?

If you are the fourth person in this scenario, I am super glad you are here reading this! You see many of us highly sensitive people have been trained that it is not socially acceptable to be so sensitive. We were told repeatedly in many ways not to be so sensitive. In essence not to be who we are. Certainly this sensitivity was not respected much less cultivated.

Many of us end up denying that part of ourselves. We become completely unaware of it. We dumb ourselves down and become numb. I have found that this does a trememdous amount of damage in our lives. First, it invalidates us making us feel stupid, different, less than. It erodes our self-confidence. We begin to hide this part of ourselves from other people. So, basically we are telling ourselves that part of us is wrong. There is something wrong with us.

Often this leads to extreme deficiencies in social situations and in personal relationships, not to mention causing a severe lack of self-esteem. The wide ranging effects of this “disembodiment” are extreme. Imagine the damage to our psyche! To our life! It is imperative for us (and our mental health) to first become aware that we are that sensitive, second to understand that it is not some lack in us but rather a gift, and third how to deal with it effectively.

To become aware of your sensitivity start with noticing what social situations make you feel uncomfortable. Loud noises? Crowds of people? Artificial light? Too much stimuli at any given point is a clue.

Start determining what stimuli you are most sensitive to and choose not to put yourself in that situation. Choose carefully what environments you put yourself in. Perhaps spend more time in silence. This gives the nervous system a much needed break. Meditation is the most powerful tool I have found. First thing in the morning. It’s like a nervous system “bath”, helping you to at least start your day feeling calm.

Notice when you start feeling stressed. What is going on in your environment? Once you realize you are getting stressed, try to give yourself a quick break- even 5 minutes if you can helps a lot. And breathe. The body is designed to relax on the exhales, so make them nice and slow.

These exercises not only help us to become more aware but can actually help lead us in the right direction and make better decisions for ourselves. This is why I call it a GIFT. We can use our bodily sensations to help us determine things like is someone telling the truth or does this potential job situation resonate with me? Will I flourish here? Or will it be very stressful?

It does take work. You have to be vigilant lest you get caught off-guard and now your nervous system is fried again. Working with your sensitivity instead of denying it will most definitely lead to a healthier, happier life, and you will find the gifts in all of this.

As always. I would love your feedback, your comments, questions and ideas of topics we could explore together!

~Here is to Honoring Your Beautiful, Sensitive Self!~

World Healing Meditation

This morning I decided to do a body healing meditation with Dr.Joe Dispenza (who I think is one of the most brilliant minds of the times). The Universe had other ideas. The title is “Dr. Joe Dispenza Heal Your Body Meditation” but the meditation was actually about healing the world and all of its inhabitants. That means you and me and everyone around the world and Mother Earth. It’s powerful. And it’s the perfect time. Please join me…

How Much Do Emotions Affect Our Physical Healing?

I have always held the belief that there is an emotional component to all physical pain and disease. I have recently been reminded to not forget this part when we are physically healing from something be it disease or physical trauma. Lately I have been discouraged about how long it has been taking my knee to heal. My body usually heals very rapidly!

So, I turned to another energyworker and she helped me to identify some trapped emotions that I thought I had completely dealt with. Over the next two days I did some inner work on these emotions, remembering what kicked them off, journaling about it and shedding a tear or two. This work along with some healing meditations, and lo and behold, the pain level went from a 6/10 to a 2/10 in just 2 days!

There are lots of different types of therapies that may help you with this: psychotherapy, transpersonal counseling, inner child work, neuroemotional technique, Reiki, emotional coding- just to name a few. The idea is to identify what emotions may be stuck physically in the body and then go from there.

Mountain Rose Bulk Herbs - Opens a new window.

I find admitting to the fact that there is still some emotional residue from a particular event is the first step. Then we can choose to work with that emotion to release it more fully. This work can make a big difference in physical healing. In just 2 days I experienced a 40% reduction in pain! That is pretty significant!

If you want to try this on your own there are quick reference books to help get you started. Louise Hay, founder of Hay House books, and author of several self help books has something to say about this connection between parts of our bodies and corresponding emotions. For instance; in Heal Your Body regarding the knee she writes Knee Problems: Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in. Forgiveness. Understanding. Compassion.

Now this may or may not resonate with you but I find taking a look at what she has to say about a particular malady sometimes kicks off a particular emotion and that might be something to take a look at. I have found our emotions can and do have a profound effect on our bodies in lots of ways.

We are not separate from our emotions, whether we deny them or not. Worth considering if you are struggling to heal physically!

~Here’s To Your Vital Health!~

That Still Small Voice

Have you ever noticed that still, small voice in your head? what is that? Intuition? Yes. Higher self? I believe so. I believe it is our compass pointing us to our true north, our truth, what is the correct path for us to take.

The brain, however, likes to get in the way, to run the show- forcefully. This is what’s called the ego, we all have it, and it is full of fear which makes it quite often aggressive. It makes us think we have to do everything with brute force and that we have to do it like everyone else is doing it. It’s constantly in “conquer” mode.

Our intuition, on the other hand, quietly and gently guides us in the right direction and to the right answers for ourselves. I rely on it heavily these days and I have to tell you it is much more in alignment with who I really am.

It is a much softer way of approaching life and it is much less exhausting. One benefit is it never steers us wrong. Another benefit is it give us more confidence in ourselves and our ability to make the best choices for ourselves.

Sometimes the choices it pushes us to make are not logical (for me it has been mostly this way) and therefore kind of scarey, but I have found that it always works out well. Even when I look back I am kind of blown away at a particular risk that I have just taken. I am often surprised by my own courage when I have taken the road less traveled!

Advice from psychology today on learning to tap into your intuition:
Here are three ways to listen to that internal voice and allow its guidance into your everyday life:

1 – Keep a Journal. Writing your thoughts and feelings down on paper—even if you think you have little to say—helps the nonconscious mind open up. You may find you’re writing words and phrases that don’t make sense to you, or stir emotional responses rather than intellectual responses. When this happens…

2 – Turn Off Your Inner Critic. Oftentimes we rationalize away those voices within. This time, listen without judgment. Allow the inner dialogues to happen without fear or ridicule.

3 – Find a Solitary Place. A place where you can allow emotions to flow freely is an imperative part of finding and retaining the building blocks of intuition. Here you may also want to create an emotional connection to an object, a color, a piece of music or literature—anything that will allow feelings to stir that are solely from within.

These three exercises will aid you in creating a new, deeper relationship with the self, help clarify that inner voice, and allow you to bring your true instinctual awareness back into your rational everyday life.
Worked for me!

Timeout

Has life ever put you in the proverbial no-no chair? As if the Universe is saying Hell No! to your little plans and designs? Or maybe they were big plans- a great big move, or a complete change in circumstances. You thought it was a grand idea, a brand new direction that inspired you, or at least it felt like inspiration. And the Universe stopped you in your tracts. Just like that, all the plans fell like dominos, one after the other.

Sitting in this space, bewildered, you wonder what this is all about? Where did I go wrong and don’t I have free will by the way? Perhaps there is some healing to do. Perhaps you found your body temporarily closed for business. Or perhaps life throws you an emotional curveball and your heart needs some time to mend. Perhaps the Universe does have other ideas for you. Regardless, here you are stuck. Stagnated. Unable to move literally or figuratively. And you wonder why.

I believe all we can do in this situation is acquiesce: to accept something reluctantly but without protest.
Doing the opposite and attempting to force things to happen the way we want them typically leads to disaster. At least that’s what I have found along my bumpy path. So, I sit, ponder, contemplate, rest, meditate, journal about it, inquire, rest, REPEAT.

I find at some point in this process clarity begins to happen. Healing absolutely happens on every single level. Maybe an aha! moment occurs and everything becomes clear. In my experience it is usually the former. Little bits and pieces of clarity here and there. That’s when I think back and consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, my plans weren’t foolproof. Maybe there was a glitch in there somewhere that I was not seeing.

Being in the middle of this process I cannot tell you the ending. I just sit, get quiet, contemplate, meditate, rest, and heal. Wish me luck.

~Acquiescence~

Fear

Fear makes people behave differently. A normally delightful person becomes aggressive and selfish. A timid person collapses in on themselves and the fear snowballs into every aspect of their life. It makes us become something other than what is natural for ourselves. It robs us of our joy and our power. Once we allow fear in it just gets bigger and bigger.

These days fear is rampant. And frankly the media doesn’t help. I avoid it at all costs. I remain distant from all the hype. Yes, I read the most important headlines. I find reading them as opposed to listening to a newscast helps me to remain at a distance to all the fear.

Yes we are in extremely difficult times. No one is denying that. But we are not helping ourselves, the situation, or anyone else by operating in the emotion of fear. Nothing positive can come out of fear. As I said, it just feeds on itself and the problem- that which we are afraid of- is fed by the fear and it continues to escalate.

I believe we all would do well to work with this emotion so that it doesn’t consume us all. How do we do that? By first becoming aware of the fact that we are operating in fear. That our words are fear-based. That our actions are fear-based. Then we can choose something different.

We can choose positive thoughts. We can choose to change what is coming out of our mouths, or simply shut up until we can find a way to change our own minds, our perspective on things.

The other thing we might do well to remember is that even in this current world situation, positive changes are happening. Change is happening. “The only constant is change”- so true. So it may be really hard right now but this isn’t forever. Things are not staying stagnant even if it feels like they are.

What if out of this current situation things turn out beautifully? What if the world benefits from this in some fantastic ways? What if things do have to fall apart to emerge new and better? What if the outcome of all of this produces a healthier, more sustainable Earth and a happier, more community-minded human race?

It’s possible, right? But we are not headed in the right direction for that to happen if we remain in fear. It’s a choice, make it a conscious one.

~Something to think about~