Tag Archives: emotions

That Damn Onion!

Have you ever heard that the healing process is like peeling off the layers of an onion? Yeah, that totally sucks! Something happens, a loved one walks away, or we lose someone or something precious to us. It hurts and we cry, we isolate, we journal, we spend time with the pain. And slowly it loosens its grip on us and we breathe a sigh of relief.
Whew! That’s over!

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Depending on the depth of the hurt and how many other memories like it are still buried in there somewhere. Oftentimes, some little thing triggers the pain all over again. And we are seemingly back to square one. How could this be?

Because there is unfinished business in there somewhere- some leftover energetic residue. More layers. Maybe we are realizing a theme here. Does the same sort of thing happen to you over and over? Most of us develop patterns in our lives- negative patterns. And we can no longer ignore these patterns. “Why does this always happen to me”? This is where the real hard work comes in. We must look inside of us to determine the root cause, the errant belief system. We have to get really clear and honest with ourselves and it’s no easy task, but one that must be taken on head first in order to become self-aware. Only then can we be productive at changing those belief systems, thereby changing the pattern.

In my journey to heal, I have found that I move through it chapter by chapter (ie layer by layer). I will “get done” with a subject and for awhile, everything seems clear and released. Maybe months go by. Then out of the blue the same issue comes up, maybe with a different face, but the same flavor. And here I go again.

Is there any end to the layers of that onion? So far there doesn’t appear to be. But the truly wonderful thing is: for every layer removed we become better, less likely to repeat the same things over and over again, more self-aware, more confident that we will handle it in a much less dramatic way. More than anything I have found doing this work, is that I know who I am, I am much more confident, much less dependent on circumstances, and much more even-keeled emotionally- and that’s a relief for sure!

Abraham-Hicks says “we never get it done and we can’t get it wrong.” I would add to this- as long as we are doing the work!

Where’s Your Vibration?

Every emotion we feel carries with it a vibrational frequency. The idea here is that the vibrational frequency that we live in (and it fluctuates naturally) lends itself to happiness or lack thereof. Here is a visual:

frequency chart showing that various emotions have particular vibrational frequencies, the happier emotions like love and joy carrying much higher frequencies than the lower emotions like fear and shame having lower vibrational frequencies

The left column shows the frequency of an emotion. If we are in fear our frequency is around 100. Not so good. However, if we are currently feeling joy, our frequency is around 540. The higher the frequency, the better we feel and the more happy things come to our lives. Have you ever noticed that once your day takes a turn south, things just seem to continue in that direction? And other days things go so well we feel completely blessed?

Think about it. When we are in despair for example, we feel cruddy, and cruddy things keep manifesting. When we feel joy, say about petting our dog or watching a beautiful sunrise on the ocean we are able to tap into joy and joy continues through our day.

It is physics – like attracts like and so tapping into that good feeling just brings more of that good feeling. The same is true for negative feelings. The more we are stuck in depression for example, the more depressing things come our way. It is the law of the Universe.

I started putting this law of the Universe to work, on my behalf. The minute I noticed I was thinking a negative thought I would stop and replace it with a positive thought. I like to use the word ‘pivot” (again, came from Abraham-Hicks) for when I realize I am in negative energy and really do not want that to keep going. Makes for a really bad day.

Pivoting to me is realizing that I am in a funk or headed for a funk if I didn’t change my mind. You have to catch it in the early stages though. If a negative thought turns into a internal conversation, it’s probably too late to catch it and pivot to positive.

So, more training is required here. Train yourself to pay attention to the internal dialogue so that you can catch the negativity in its early stages. It becomes easier once it becomes a habit, like everything else. It takes practice but this simple shift in thinking causes tremendous shifts in energy and can turn your whole day around!

These ideas sound small, and even feel small to begin with. But if you just try it a few times, you will find yourself thinking ‘huh, there may be something to this’. There is, I assure you.

~Here’s to your good days!~

Who is the most important person in your life?

Who is the Most Important Person in Your Life?

Your spouse? Your family? Your kids? Take a moment to consider this and it might save you a ton of grief. People you love and who love you are not here simply to make you feel good.

They are awesome people for sure! But they are here for themselves-on their own path, learning their own lessons, just like you. It does not matter how loving and good they are. And they themselves may not even understand that this is their journey. And perhaps you don’t either.

Having good, supportive loving relationships is more important than anything in my opinion. That being said, people will fail you. It’s not their fault, or yours. It just is. When that does happen, the amount of destruction it causes for you emotionally is up to you. Yep. That is our responsibility. Ugh. Maybe painful but true. We cannot give anyone responsibility for how we feel- no matter how much it hurts.

What about that spouse that you trusted, that you knew oh so well? Or that adult child that was always stellar- best grades, totally successful in their line of work and suddenly they hit rock bottom and they take you with them. What the hell happened? Life was good. And now it’s utter Hell.

We find ourselves debating violently in court with the spouse that was at the very core of our happiness, or dropped entirely from the lives of our beloved kids. Or perhaps the one you love most in the Universe physically left, died. Not that they wanted to.

How on Earth do we keep out of this emotional downfall? By making certain we are good with ourselves. By making sure no matter what our spouse or our kids or our loved ones cannot slay us to the bone. They don’t mean to! But they are here on their own journey and sometimes, it causes us great angst. Superior emotional pain happens that we didn’t see coming.

Doesn’t sound possible, does it? But it does happen. And we are not preparing for the worst- no, no- just simply keeping in check with ourselves. What does that mean and why is it so important?

It means that no matter how much we love another, we must be loving ourselves first and foremost. We must be happy and strong in our own skin. Are we? We find out when sh*t hits the fan. All of our grounded happiness comes crashing down and now is apparently absent and in our utter despair we have no thing and no one to latch onto.

We are thrown into a particular despair we never knew existed. And it is a really deep, dark hole. We have no idea how we got here or how we can possibly get out. We can’t function, and we can’t breathe.

Start one breath at a time, one thought at a time. We begin the journey of self-discovery and lest to say, self-love. At this point you may find yourself hating the world, hating yourself, hating God. Understandable. But something inside of us keeps us going, keeps us searching for answers, keeps us breathing even if we don’t want to.

What is that? Why can’t we just give up and disappear? Because the human “will” to survive is incredibly strong. Doesn’t that just suck? Yes. Yes, it does. But it is there- stubbornly there. So, we start grasping for straws. Perhaps we seek out professional help, perhaps at this point we are on antidepressants but the nagging and sometimes unbearable pain does not go away no matter what. Then what do you do?

Face it. Face the notion that it is up to you to get out of this hellish nightmare. One breath at a time. One thought at a time. Self realization and self help are the same thing to me. Who am I? Do I even matter? Is there a God? Or a reason I am still here? The answer is Yes! an unequivocal yes!

As long and arduous as the journey is, it is the only journey you have at your disposal right now. I often would tell myself “suck it up buttercup”. Again, ugh. Not what I need right now. Or maybe that is the most brilliant thought I can come up with. Maybe, just maybe, that is the thought I needed right now to take yet another breath.

This is when we start searching, searching for anything and anyone that can help breathing not be so painful. Good for you! Yay you! You just took the first step toward finding relief. There are tons of helpful books and people out there who have been through it, podcasts, uplifting meditations-my favorite starting point was listening to Abraham-Hicks on YouTube. You will find the right one for you! You will!

Just keep going, one breath at a time. And in time, you will find it. You will find your strength, your self-worth, even your joy. You will realize that they, whoever they are, did not destroy you. And in time you will find that they not only didn’t destroy you but they helped you become more you!

~And Life Begins Again~

Energy, Frequency and Vibration

Nicola Tesla, a famous engineer and physicist (and my favorite) from the 1890’s is quoted in saying, “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”
As an engineer and Spiritual enthusiast, I get this. Everything is energy, and I mean everything. You, me, the chair you are sitting on, the air you breathe.

You may not feel the energy of the chair you sit on but I’ll bet you feel the energy of someone in line at the grocery store behind you that is just a bit too close. Why? Because we are that. We are energy. We vibrate. And we feel what and who does vibrate at about the same frequency- and we feel what and who does not.

What does this translate to in everyday life? Sometimes a feeling of peace, sometimes a feeling of annoyance, sometimes a feeling of ‘I gotta get out of here right now’! Ever walk into a room full of people and immediately feel stressed or drained? Ever go somewhere in nature and feel a sense of peace? This is because the frequency of the place either matches you- or doesn’t. Pay attention! If you want to feel good, if you want to have a peaceful life, you must pay attention.

You know the people that make you feel drained after being with them. You know the situations that just wear you out. But you might not know why. It is energy baby, and I am telling you this is what it’s all about. This is what makes your life happy or sad.

Try it. Choose to spend some time thinking about where you are at, who you are with and how you feel. Does this place make you feel good? Do these people make you feel worse than you did before you came? Pay attention! I hear you going ‘huh’ during and after this experiment. Then think about it, and them. Why do they make me feel good? (or bad?). Because you either vibrate at their or that level or you do not.

Choosing not to spend time in a situation, an environment or with people that make you feel ‘less’. See what happens. Do you feel better? Less stressed? Less drained? Think about these things. Choose not to be in that environment. Choose not to be with those people, and see how you feel. It’s important, isn’t it? You are important, aren’t you?

Being aware of how people make you feel, being aware of how certain environments make you feel is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT for vibrant health, and especially for a joyous life.

~ You Matter!~


An Emotional Salve

Human Beings. We are flesh, blood, and bone. We are emotions and physical strength. We have abilities and desires. At the center of us though is our breath. The breath is ever-present and is a very good anchor for us in our physical bodies. We rarely if ever pay any attention to that- we are too inclined to be busy, to move our bodies, to think and do stuff.

These days, given the current world situation, we are more apt to begin contemplating more internally simply because we are forced to slow down. Slowing down our external activities forces us to be more introspective. And this is uncomfortable for most of us. Perhaps it is time to change that.

Little by little when we decide to allow this slowdown, this introspection, we begin to become more familiar with ourselves. We never realized before that we have been operating generally on autopilot. We never realized that inquiry into who we really are was never a “thing”. Now it is.

So who are we really? What are we all about? Is there more to us than our jobs, our family responsibilities, our activity? OH YES. And is there something we can do for ourselves to help us navigate these turbulent waters more effectively, soundly, and peacefully? YES!

Now don’t get scared this is going to go off in some woo-woo direction. This is about being in conscious contact with our bodies, and what makes our bodies run so magnificently (or not), and how to make our bodies and our mind more efficient and effective when we are under stress. And we are ALL under stress right now.

What if under all this stress we decided to try something new to help relieve the intensity of what we feel all around us today? Committing to 10-15 minutes per day- first thing in the morning, and perhaps when the anxiety starts amping up? It’s super simple, but you have to DO it.

My recommendation is to sit down and just consciously breathe. Sit, get still, no distractions, silence, and stillness, and focus on the breath. Not so easy to begin with because the mind goes ballistic. Don’t care about that. When you realize the mind has gone ballistic, take a breath (no judgment) and bring your attention back to the breath- over and over and over again.

I am not asking you to make this a marathon. Start with 10 minutes. If you make it 2 minutes on the first day- awesome! Try for 3 minutes tomorrow. Commit to doing it every day, say for a month- and see what happens. See how your mood stabilizes. See how little things don’t ruffle your feathers or ruin your day. Notice how your activities become more relaxed, more accomplished. Realize that you feel better.

What happens next? This becomes a habit, this becomes something you look forward to, this becomes something you do every day before you even think of leaving the house!
And guess what? It’s called MEDITATION.

Meditation is the single most important tool for living a happy, stable, effective life. Now more than ever, we need this tool!
Please feel free to contact me with questions or if you need help with this- more to come!